Best birthday gift for girlfriend

WITH chicken wings and waffles, in Capri or couture, on the opening night red carpet and, later, when the reviews come in--they are there.

Through children, men, weddings, funerals--they are there.

Almost like the words of the wedding vow--in sickness and in health--they are there.

They are the defining connection, the constant support and comfort for celebrity women--their best girlfriend.

Keepers of confidences, someone to let down their hair with, to drop their guard and reserve, someone to get behind the Hollywood glitz and glitter and get down to the real you, complete with kicked-off-heels and raucous laughter. They are the sustaining connection, and most celebrity women they say could not make it without them.

An African proverb states that, "When you know who someone's friend is, you know who he or she is."

When you look at these longstanding, true blue friendships, they exhibit the best of what anyone wants in a friend--understanding, compassion, lockjaw secrecy and most of all, fun!

It was destiny that Beyonce Knowles and Kelly Rowland would become fast friends. They are the two original members of the hit-making group, Destiny's Child and were reared virtually as sisters. Kelly began living with the Knowles family with the permission of her mom, after daily rehearsals and crosstown auditions wreaked havoc with her work schedule. Knowles and Rowland still enjoy hanging out, shopping and going out to eat together as their hectic schedules allow. Rowland is engaged to Dallas Cowboys safety Roy Williams, and Beyonce and rapper Jay-Z are reportedly a very public pair. But you won't hear anything about that from them. They exercise complete discretion about each other other's private lives--another great quality to have in a best friend.

For women in the public eye, a best friend who they can be themselves with is a gift. The pioneering concert singer Marian Anderson once said that, "Everyone has a gift for something, even if it is the gift of being a good friend."

Talk show queen Oprah Winfrey's friendship with Gayle King, editor-at-large of O Magazine, has been a gift for both of them. Nonjudgmental support, wake-up wisdom and down-to-earth compassion have been the mainstay of their long friendship--not to mention some really nice gifts through the years. "I think one of the reasons why the relationship has worked so well is because she's the kind of person who has always been there," Winfrey told EBONY several years ago. And their close friendship has continued since then with King hosting a celebration of Oprah's 50th birthday last year and Oprah returning the gesture early this year, hosting a big birthday bash for her "bestest" friend at the Daniel restaurant on New York's Upper East Side. Published reports said the star even ordered King's favorite Pucci-patterned fabric to decorate the restaurant and also commissioned the Swarovski crystal keepsakes for the guests. The Big Apple fete was filled with celebrities like Quincy Jones, Patti LaBelle, Natalie Cole, Jackee Harry and Nick Ashford and Valerie Simpson, according to published reports.

Actress Holly Robinson Peete and singer Terry Ellis of EnVogue share a special "best-friend" bond. "Holly and I allow each other to just be!" Ellis says. "Even when we haven't spoken to each other in a while we can just pick up where we left off. Out spirits are with each other all the time. We both are silly and know how to laugh together ... and we do a lot of that!" Peete says Ellis doesn't brag, is nonjudgmental and is always there for her.

Poet Maya Angelou told EBONY why the "always there" factor is so important in a sister-friendship. "Sisterhood means that if you happen to be in Burma and I happen to be in San Diego and I'm married to someone who is very jealous and you're married to somebody who is very possessive, if you call me in the night, I have to come. Whatever I have to pay, I have to be there."

Dionne Warwick, who had the hit song "That's What Friends Are For," says she has shared a 35-year friendship with Gladys Knight. The pair have laughed, cried and shared much throughout the years, so much so that Knight says, "Her sons are my sons; my children are her children." Warwick has stated publicly how important friendship is in her life. "Friendship is as vital to my existence as the blood that runs through my veins," she told a reporter. "One always needs another, regardless of his or her station in life ... I value friends, not only for what I can do for them, but what they've done for me."

Best friends and fellow actresses Tisha Campbell-Martin and Tichina Arnold have done a lot for each other through the years, and have especially supported each other as they became new moms. When Tisha had the "Niagara Falls" of all baby showers in 2001, Arnold was one of the co-hosts for the 500 family and friends bash. And last year when Arnold was expecting her baby girl, Campbell-Martin hosted a Valentine's Day baby shower bash that rivaled her own. Arnold's breakthrough role was as Gina's best friend Pam on the sitcom Martin. To illustrate the closeness of their friendship today, more than 12 years after that sitcom, Campbell-Martin told a reporter, "The best thing about Martin is that Tichina and I became even closer than we were."

Two women who know something about close friendships are TLC members Tionne (T-Boz) Watkins and Rozonda (Chilli) Thomas. The women still feel the loss of their third member, Lisa (Left Eye) Lopes, who died in a tragic car crash three years ago. The three had sung together since they were teenagers and virtually grew up together. Today, T-Boz and Chilli continue their close friendship, supporting each other in the industry and in personal strife. Both are moms, and both have weathered public and private storms together, including Chilli's very public breakup with Usher. But you won't hear anything about that from them. These two are tight and as Watkins has stated publicly, "We're family."

Superstar singer Whitney Houston credits her great friend Perri Reid, with turning her around. Reid, formerly known as the singer Pebbles, and Houston have been friends for more than 15 years. Reid was a bridesmaid at Houston's' wedding to Bobby Brown and is now an ordained minister in Atlanta.

Houston, Brown and their daughter stayed with Reid for several months in her suburban Atlanta home. "We've been best friends for 15 years," Reid says. "We have a powerful sister relationship, and most important a Godly relationship."

While Houston was raised in church, Reid was not and she credits Houston with planting the seed for her own spiritual breakthrough. "Whitney was one of the first people who told me that Jesus needs to be your friend," Reid says. "This was before I got saved. She's no fair-weather friend; we are true sisters and I would fight for her." The pair has very different personalities. "It's a challenge sometimes, because she is outspoken and I am bossy," says Reid. "But I know that woman's heart, and I know that God's hand is on her life."

So whether they met in the sandlot or on the set, whether they enjoy partying or praying, these women all share an indescribable bond of closeness, and they say to each other what T-Boz says about her best friend: "We're family."