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GOD'S GIFT OF TIME: Stewardship in Families

Stewardship in Families

It's about money, isn't it, about how families use the treasures entrusted to us by God? It's about money, isn't it, and what money can buy? Isn't stewardship in families about parents teaching their children to put aside a tithe of their allowance to give as an offering in worship or to help support a mission project? Isn't it about talking about those in our midst who are less fortunate or caring for the hungry in our community by bringing food for the food drive? Yes, it's about all of these, and more.

Stewardship in families is about our talents - the natural gifts and skills we have that can be used to build up the Body of Christ. It's a child's choice to sing in the choir, to help lead worship by making a joyful noise and praising God. It's another child using the gift of hospitality to welcome the new child in Sunday school to "Come sit by me. I'm glad you came." It's the youth who offers to lead younger children at day camp or help in the church nursery. It's the technology-savvy youth who offers to teach seniors in the congregation to use the library computer to send emails to their grandchildren across town or across the world. Yes, it's about all of these, and more.

Ultimately, though, stewardship is all about time. Time is God's gift of life, measured not in units of minutes, hours, days, and years; but rather measured in opportunities to be present with one another, to love one another as God has first loved us, and to serve one another with time, talent, and treasure.

What's Gone Wrong?

Families live in a culture today with values that often oppose those that Jesus taught. Culture says, "Value things." Christ says, "Value people." Culture says, "Put yourself first." Christ says, "Serve others." Culture says, "Never be satisfied with what you have; yearn for newer, bigger, brighter." Christ says, "The abundant life that I bring is peace, joy, and contentment." Culture says, "Hurry up, be busy, do, do, do." Christ says, "Slow down, remember the Sabbath day, and keep it holy." Culture says, "Money and power and status are our gods; worship them." Christ says, "God is God; worship God only." Culture says, "Now!" Christ says, "Focus on the things that are eternal and I am with you always." Culture can be toxic for children and other living things with its emphasis on acquisition, materialism, and self-centered living. Christ calls us into community - to love one another as we have been loved.

Embedded in our culture, what has happened to families? They have sped up to warp speed. They are busy with work, school, sports and enrichment activities, and being spectators of virtual lives. Even when family members are all at home, they go to their own rooms with their own phones, televisions, and electronic gadgets. The primary presence in the family room is not the family; it is the television set. Many families don't eat together, talk together, play together, or worship together. Family members in many homes are islands with the same mailing address.

Even congregations inadvertently contribute to this fragmentation. In the name of Jesus, people are pulled out of the family and into activities, programs, education, service, and worship - often divided into age-segregated groups. The activities are important, but too often they pull families apart.

What Can Congregations Do?

Keep families together, at least some of the time, in worship, in learning, and in service. Help families learn the Four Keys for nurturing faith:

Caring conversations. Help families learn how to talk to and especially how to listen to one another. Encourage them to value time spent getting to know one another: What happened today that you enjoyed? What made you proud? What in the world concerns you? What do you dream about?

Family devotions. Teach families to say grace, to pray before bedtime, to pray for one another, and to pray for those outside the family. Help families find resources for their devotional life together. Teach families to talk about finding God in their everyday lives: Who was the light of Christ for you today? For whom were you the light of Christ? What do you see in the news that would concern God? What can we as a family do about it? Help families read scripture together and find themselves in God's story. Only 10 percent of churched families ever talk about faith outside of their congregation, yet the four most powerful factors that predict whether children will have mature faith are what Mom and Dad say and do!

Rituals and traditions. Offer examples of family rituals that include God. Instead of yelling, "Get up now, the bus is coming!" invite families to greet the day as God's creation and gift to them: "This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it." "God go with you today." "I'll be praying for you. What would you like me to pray about?" Teach family members to send one another off with a blessing and an affirmation of God's love for them and to close the day with prayers, blessings, and reminders of their baptism and God's loving claim on them. Suggest making the sign of the cross on each forehead each night, whether it is a 2-month-old or a 22-year-old. Infuse traditions with faith talk. At Thanksgiving, instead of just asking, "white meat or dark?" ask, "What is one thing for which you thank God this year?" At Christmas, serve a birthday cake and sing Happy Birthday to baby Jesus.

Family service. Create opportunities in your congregation for entire families to serve together: greeting before the service, reading lessons together, serving dinner at a soup kitchen, cleaning up the church grounds in the spring, visiting a nursing home resident, making cards for shut-ins, hosting a party for adults with developmental disabilities, or participating in a family mission trip. Help family members of all ages learn to follow Jesus' example.

Finally, send families home! Make sure that your church does not keep family members so busy at church that they do not have time together at home. One congregation decided to have no meetings, classes, or activities during Lent one year. Instead, they supplied households with family devotional materials and sent them home to be the church at home. What a concept!

We can make a difference in helping families become stewards of God's precious gift of time together.

- Marilyn Sharpe is director of Christian Parenting and Intergenerational Ministry at the Youth and Family Institute in Bloomington, Minnesota.

For more information on resources for celebrating faith milestones, see www.youthandfamilyinstitute.org.