Gag and gift party

It's holiday time and while Dear Abby, Ann Landers, and Miss Manners tell us about personal etiquette, we thought we'd share some practical tips for business holiday parties gathered from frequent party goers.

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Holiday Party Do's ...

[check] Attend the event. It's an unspoken expectation that showing up isn't quite mandatory, nor can it be required outside of regular business hours, but attending really isn't optional.

[check] Show up if you RSVP. Many times the host or hostess, whether it's an individual or company, pays per person based on the number of RSVPs.

[check] Mingle, mix, and move through the crowds. Talk to different people and learn something new.

[check] Pay attention to the start and end times on an invitation. This information is there for a reason, and you don't want to overstay your welcome.

[check] Pretend that any business function called a "party" is really a business event. Although it might be outside the norm of a standard office meeting with food and beverage, the same rules of conduct and etiquette apply.

[check] Limit gift giving. Business colleagues will often feel obligated to give gifts in return for receiving gifts. If you do give, give from the heart, keep it simple, and keep the price tag at a minimum.

[check] Dress appropriately and professionally. All eyes are not meant to be on you, and this is certainly not the time for provocative dress. You want people to remember you--not what you wore. Lean toward the conservative or classic look.

[check] Give thank-you's. When appropriate, either write a thank-you note if the event is staged in a private home or, at least, verbally tell the host and/or hostess in person that you enjoyed the celebration.

Holiday Party Don'ts ...

* Say yes to a blind date. You don't know who the person is or who he or she might know. Rule of thumb: When in doubt, go stag.

* Be flirtatious or get frisky. Any Miss Manners will tell you this is crossing the line of appropriate and adult behavior.

* Drink too much. It's not worth taking the chance that you'll say something you wish you hadn't said or let your guard down. Rule of thumb: Limit yourself to 1-2 drinks.

Real life story: "The president of a company where I worked got plastered at our holiday party. There was a couple attending the party, and both the husband and the wife worked for the company. The president revealed he was having an affair with his secretary (who happened to be the woman) and admitted to relocating the husband to a faraway site."

* Talk all business. Boring! It is, after all, a social gathering. The party goers are supposed to have fun, get to know each other, and have different experiences outside of the daily office routine.

* Intend on prospecting for new business. Tacky!

Real life story: "I worked for an attorney and invited him and his wife to a party in my home. He came and did so only to shop for new clients. Not only was I offended, but so were my guests."

* Assume everyone celebrates the same holiday. If you say "Merry Christmas" to someone who doesn't observe that holiday, it might offend him. Be generic and say "Happy Holidays."

* Give gag gifts. They're only funny to some and a waste of money to others. Not to mention, everyone doesn't have the same sense of humor or understanding for sarcasm.

* Gossip. Gossiping in any situation is usually damaging and not a good thing to do, but it's especially not appropriate at a business-related event.

Christina Motley is the executive vice president and partner for The O'Connor Group, an integrated marketing communications firm in Roanoke, Va.