Homemade gag gift

THE OFFICE GIFT; Even the best-intentioned holiday exchange can go a

The gift swap began innocently enough. A toy air gun, a box of chocolates, a lottery ticket. Then the personal massager was opened.

The boss asked who brought the sex toy.

Someone blushed, but no one admitted it.

True story. Classic example of what not to give at the office.

Office gift-giving is fraught with potential pitfalls, but done right it can make work a better place, gift-giving experts say.

"Gift-giving is a wonderful way to build relationships. It makes people feel appreciated," said Hilka Klinkenberg, Office Depot's gift- giving expert and owner of Ettiquette International in New York.

At the same time, care should be taken to avoid offending anyone or making a bad impression and ruining the gesture.

Many workers are willing to take the chance. According to a recent survey commissioned by Office Depot, 78 percent of workers plan on either giving gifts or celebrating the holidays at their workplace. But most say they are unfamiliar with the proper gift-giving protocol for business associates and clients.

The first step is to check with human resources on the comppany's gift-giving policy. Some have strict no-gift rules, while others set a dollar limit.

The next step is deciding to whom you want to give gifts.

It's okay to give to just a few colleagues with whom you feel particularly close.

It's not necessary to give to the boss, but it can be a nice gesture.

"Sometimes we feel like we shouldn't give the CEO or our direct boss a gift because it looks like we're trying to curry favor," said Giovinella Gonthier, owner of Gonthier's Selections and Protocols. "But I think it's important that you give them something, or at least write them a note. When you're at the top, it can be very lonely and it can mean so much to be told you're appreciated."

Bosses should keep in mind that a bonus is not a holiday gift.

"A bonus is something a company gives as a reward for work well done," Klinkenberg said.

For those companies that can't afford bonuses, a holiday gift can go a long way toward promoting good will. One option is a gift certificate to a spa for something in which the recipient might not otherwise indulge - and time off to use it, Ingram said.

When choosing a gift, think about what the recipient might like to get. Although that seems obvious, often people give what they would like to get, gift-giving gurus say.

"The tricky part is finding out what the receiver would really like," said Jodi R.R. Smith, founder of the Marblehead-based etiquette consulting firm Mannersmith. "To do this you must be a detective."

Try to find out the recipient's hobbies, favorite sports team or upcoming travel plans. If all else fails, go with a box of chocolates that can be shared or a gift certificate to a place you think the recipient might like.

Be aware of cultural difference or potentially offensive gifts, such as giving meat to a vegetarian.

You need not spend a lot of money. In fact, you probably should spend no more than $10 to $25 in most cases, the experts say.

"You can get something substantial for that amount but not extravagant, which could lead to the meaning being misconstrued," Ingram said.

For those on the receiving end, a thank you note is appropriate, even if you've said thank you directly to the giver, etiquette authorities say.

"You can just leave a note on the person's desk," Klinkenberg said. "A handwritten note is always appreciated."

OFFICE GIFT-GIVING DOs AND DON'Ts

Good idea:

Food, including fruit baskets, chocolate and homemade cookies. These gifts are popular, relatively inexpensive and suitable to the masses.

Fancy office supplies. Nice pens, paisley staplers or picture frame pencil holders can make a good impression.

A hand written note. Sometimes it really is the thought that counts.

Maybe:

Wine or other type of alcohol - caution is advised since some may not drink and it might be frowned upon in the office.

Charitable donations in recipient's name. This is generally not a great idea unless you're donating to a charity you know the recipient supports.

Bad idea:

Perfume, lingerie or anything else that touches the body. These items are way too personal for the office.

Gag gifts - These can all too often backfire.