Office gag gift

Each year, as the holidays draw closer, Marc Goldstein's clients and associates start dropping hints.

"I hope I'm on your pistachio list this year," they whisper.

"Happy Holidays. You still doing the pistachios?" they say with a wink.

Goldstein, owner of Creative Video Productions, has tapped into a fierce craving, blending pistachios and M&M's in festive tins that he doles out to clients each December. People love them.

"It's the sweet and salty thing," he says.

But it takes more than just an addictive treat to wow associates at the holidays, Goldstein says. What really gets people is that he takes the time to bring the tins of salted sweets himself.

Goldstein breaks the city into zones and spends several hours Christmas week driving around, visiting with clients and leaving them with cheer, a few munchies and the message that he is grateful to have worked with them.

"I make it really clear, whenever it comes up, that this is not a bribe or a means to get business from them," Goldstein says. "It's just a way to say thanks for the business that I have already gotten from them. If they don't give me one more bit of business that's fine. I'm just saying thanks."

Gifts define the holiday season, and many retail businesses count on gift purchases to meet their annual targets. But gift giving can get sticky when it intersects with business.

For companies, there's the issue of integrity and making sure that gifts from vendors and business associates aren't being used to influence staff decisions of behavior.

For workers, there are several issues of etiquette that can come into play in the giving of gifts at the office. Since most companies prefer not to shove a thousand policies regarding gift giving at employees, it often falls on the workers to figure out the dos and don'ts of holiday gift giving in the workplace.

Candy-coated conflict?

At Our Lady of the Lake Regional Medical Center, employees are prohibited from receiving gifts from patients, vendors or other employees.

"It's clamped down pretty tight," says Terry Bowman, rice president of human resources at the Lake.

"We had a similar policy at Maison Blanche, in my days there. It was very limited in terms of accepting gifts. You want to be independent when you are making your business decisions and not influenced by a box of candy."

Bowman says the policy wasn't drafted to turn everyone into an Ebenezer Scrooge. But when your company is dealing in service and care, it's best to steer clear of any possible conflicts of interest.

Still, Bowman admits, the holidays present a specific challenge. Gifts, by their nature, are symbolic of human connection, something that the Lake values. The hospital doesn't run like a police state, Bowman says. If a vendor sends a gift, the hospital will accept it graciously, then the gift will be shared among departments.

"We are not in the business of offending," he says.

And while the Lake's HR policy technically prohibits workers from exchanging gifts with each other, the center also goes out of its way to encourage personal attachment--the very thing that sparks gift exchanges.

"We teach that it's important to have a best friend at work," he says. "When you are taking care of somebody who is in a life or death situation, long-term studies show that people do become close."

So what to do? "Between now and Christmas, we're not likely to publish a reminder of the policy that says employees are not allowed to give or receive gifts," Bowman says. "The much more guiding principle is people being connected to each other at the organization, in whatever ways that manifests itself."

At Woman's Hospital, a letter goes out to vendors each November reminding them that the facility has a policy in place that prohibits employees from accepting gifts from vendors.

"What we realized is that if a vendor is not aware of our policy, then why would they change their practice?" says Stan Shelton, vice president of human resources at Woman's. "It puts the employee in an awkward situation when someone shows up and the employee has to say, 'No. I can't take that.'"

Shelton says sometimes vendors still send treats.

"The one thing we've never been able to get a handle on is food gifts," he says. "Grapefruit, chocolate candy, cashews and, of course, the inevitable fruitcake."

Like the Lake, Woman's asks that employees who receive such tokens share them. Woman's doesn't mind if employees exchange gifts with each other.

Rules for giving

So what are the rules of etiquette concerning gift giving among coworkers at the holidays?

First off, avoid gag gifts, says Trin Johnson, owner and principal consultant of Trin Johnson Consulting, which specializes in career development and social and business etiquette training.

"You may be a jokester, but you may be giving to a serious-minded individual, and when they open it, they will get embarrassed."

Try not to get too personal, Johnson says. That means no perfume, neckties, or jewelry.

And what about the big guy, or gal, who signs your paychecks?

"You do not need to feel obligated to give your boss a gift," says Pam Holland, chief operating officer of Brody Communications, a training company based in Jenkintown, Pa., and coauthor of "Help! Was That a Career Limiting Move?"

"You and your boss are in different income brackets."

When in doubt, pay attention to the industry and the culture in your workplace, says Shirley White, president of Success Images, a career-counseling firm in Baton Rouge.

A nice note can be more powerful than any gift, she says. So when gift giving isn't an option, skip the token and go straight to the message.

"Part of the tradition is giving," she says. "Let them know that you appreciate what they've done."

AMY ALEXANDER is a free-lance writer in Baton Rouge.