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A thought for the holidays: Renaissance doctors believed the heart, or essence of each person, began as a star in the heavens. Here are some ideas for sharing your star with others this season.

the gift of light

Good-night light

Read your children a bedtime story by candlelight. When you're done and the "good nights" are said, let your child make a wish and blow out the candle. Or, pick a snowy evening or star-filled night. Bundle up the children and take them out to count the stars. Send them off to sleep with warm honey milk.

Sharing the light

If you celebrate Hanukkah or Kwanza, designate one night to share the light. Let each member of your family invite one special friend of another faith to have dessert and light the candles in your menorah or kinara.

Light up a life

Create a luminaria garden for a retirement home. Get permission first. Then gather sand, votive candles, paper lunch bags, string, and friends. Use the string to lay out the pattern of a star, tree, menorah, kinara, or holiday greeting on the ground, preferably in a place where it can be seen from the windows above. Roll down the tops of each bag and fill the bottom with sand and a candle; then place the luminaria 12 inches apart along the string. Light candles when it's dark.

the gift of time

Handsome times

Volunteer to give manicures at a retirement home. Make up a pretty basket of supplies to carry from room to room as you file, polish nails, and chat. Get a teenager to join you, and go wild with bright, holiday colors.

Helping times

Donate your time--or the whole family's--to a soup kitchen, to a school cleanup project, or to "winterize" an elderly neighbor's yard and garden. For children, make it a special time not only to help others but to praise the youngsters for their cooperation and hard work.

Alone time

Trade "gifts" with a friend: You'll pick up her children from school one day and feed them a snack so she can have two hours to herself if she'll do the same for you. Do something you never get to do, such as read magazines in the library.

Date time

Give a friend, spouse, or family member a one-on-one dinner date. During dinner, ask your "date" about her dreams. Find out what she'd like to do, be, or have if there were no limits in life. Listen to what she has to say. Then spend time over dessert talking about how to make her dreams come true.

the gift of laughter

For the record

When friends and family gather for dinner this holiday, turn on the tape recorder and start telling stories. Let the oldest tell a funny family story first, then continue down the line until everyone has had a chance to spin a yarn and laugh. Send a copy of the tape to these dinner guests on their birthdays in the coming year.

Remember when

Do the unspeakable: Share your high school yearbook with your children and/or friends. Make it a party where everyone brings their yearbooks. Enjoy a laugh over what you looked like and did back then.

Here comes the bride

Do something even more unspeakable: Have a dress-up party for a group of girlfriends where everyone wears her worst bridesmaid dress. Give a prize to the winner. Serve cake and champagne, then go out dancing wearing your finery.

Fun and games

Invite several families over for a hearty soup dinner and a game of charades. Pit kids against grown-ups with the categories being movies, books, and music--the stuff of popular culture. See what happens when Smashing Pumpkins meets the Carpenters.

the gift of friendship

Home shopping

Know someone who can't get out and shop, such as an elderly person, someone caring for an elderly parent, or a friend with a new baby? Gather your mail-order catalogs for an evening of making lists, picking out presents, and dialing holiday hotlines.

Coffee break

Invite a friend's visiting in-laws over for a cup of coffee. Use the time to praise your friend's parenting skills, professional prowess, financial wizardry, and fine friendship. She'll appreciate the break and the pump-up as well, and if you're lucky, she may return the favor.

Give and take

Ask a friend for help or advice. This might be the nicest way to say, "Not only are you loved, you are needed."

Share your friends

You have friends at work, in the PTA, and in your neighborhood. Invite all of them over and introduce them to each other. What better gift to give a friend than a chance to meet another friend?

Charitable friends

Start a new tradition. Gather friends or coworkers and instead of exchanging gifts, designate a local charity for a collective contribution.

the gift of learning

You are what you eat

Instead of having friends over for dinner, invite them to cook a meal with you. Teach them how to make your Southern grandmother's chicken and dumplings, your Italian mother-in-law's wonderful tomato sauce with raisins and pine nuts, or your own bittersweet chocolate mousse cake. Know some other good cooks? Organize a cooking-class cultural exchange.

Threads of love

Ask your parent or in-law to teach you and your child to knit, quilt, embroider, cross-stitch, or do whatever "fancy work" he or she knows. Pass these skills on to your friends and their children and start an intergenerational sewing circle. Host the sewing circle when your parents or in-laws visit.

The art of puttering

Give your children their own tools and teach them how to use them. Starting in their rooms, help them hang a picture, repair a squeaky door, or put up a shelf.

Self-improvement: 101

Here's a gift you can give yourself: Sign up for a class about something you've always wanted to know. Or, book a "learning" vacation for the coming year.

the gift of love

Paper hearts

Before you clean up the bits of ribbon and paper from wrapping presents, get out construction paper and glue and invite your children to make holiday "Valentines." Surprise your family and friends with Christmas cards that say "I love you" instead of the standard "Happy Holidays."

Love your Mother

Show your concern for our planet by organizing a cleanup day for an abandoned lot or joining a grassroots environmental group.

A love feast

Create a meal where every family member cooks and contributes their favorite foods. Get out your best china and silver, eat by candlelight, and don't say a word about balanced meals, the need for leafy greens, or why chocolate isn't a food group.

Tell me why

Don't just say "I love you" this season. Tell someone why your love them: "I love you because you always whistle when you weed the garden; I love you because you play the violin with your heart in your hand; I love you because you dance as though only you can hear the music; I love you because you really do believe Elmo can talk."