Celebration wedding and gift registry

The latest indication that gay and lesbian couples will forever alter the wedding industry--especially if other states follow Massachusetts's lead and begin issuing licenses--can be found at Gump's, a purveyor of fine goods to San Francisco's elite shoppers.

The retailer, known to some as "Tiffany of the West," mailed congratulatory letters to gay newlyweds, inviting them to register for gifts such as silk wedding albums ($145) or band-polished elephant ice scoops ($24). Gump's also has been careful to use registrant and coregistrant, not bride and groom. "I've changed everything I'm capable of changing," says Kathleen Rende, director of Gump's wedding and gift registry. "[The word] bridal doesn't exist. Everything at Gump's has been changed to gift registry and wedding registry."

Weddings have always been big business in America. Consumers spend about $50 billion each year for ceremonies, according to Conde Nast Bridal Group, publisher of Modern Bride and Bride's magazines. Yet the industry has seen business slowly fall off in the past decade as more straight couples wait longer to marry.

Caterers, hotels, retailers, and bridal shops are banking on the possibility that gay and lesbian weddings--estimated by research firm Community Marketing to be a $1 billion industry--will help stop the downward trend. "The wedding industry sees [gay marriage] as a brand-new, untapped market," says K.C. David, president of wedding service directory Web site GayWeddings.com. He is writing an advice book on same-sex wedding ceremonies. "We tend to have large disposable incomes because most of us don't have children."

What is considered the average income for gay households is hotly debated. Some experts put the total disposable income of the country's 14.2 million gay men and lesbians at $451 billion. Market research firm Forrester estimates that gay households rake in $61,300 a year, compared with $56,900 for straight households.

Same-sex couples spend an average of $15,000 on weddings and receptions, says Cindy Sproul, cofounder of RainbowWeddingNetwork.com. While straight couples spend an average of $22,360, according to Conde Nast, the wedding industry's gay boom really only started burgeoning on February 12, when San Francisco began issuing same-sex marriage licenses, and companies have seen huge marketing potential.

Boutique hotelier Joie de Vivre Hospitality introduced the "I Do" package at its Archbishop's Mansion property in San Francisco and renamed the package "Wish We Could" after the California supreme court halted same-sex ceremonies, says Greg Horner, its director of hotel marketing. Olivia Cruises and Resorts, the travel company for lesbians, has scheduled a marriage cruise that is departing from Boston in July. Reservation agency MyCruiseClub.com also has planned a same-sex commitment ceremony and honeymoon package in September for customers aboard the Carnival cruise ship Celebration. The Bucks County Conference and Visitors Bureau in Pennsylvania has launched a Web site (www.buckscountycvb.org/bget.html) advertising commitment ceremony packages offered by local hotels and inns. "What we are marketing is the same," says executive director Keith Toler, "but the way we market it is different."

Wedding planning is also very different than it was just two years ago, when Cary Friedman and Rick Wellisch were planning their commitment ceremony and reception for 130 guests. To find a florist and caterer they attended a straight-bridal showcase. "We showed up and it was all these very young, naive-looking brides," says Friedman, who lives in Cambridge, Mass. "We felt a little self-conscious, but we were there to do the same things." This year gay wedding conventions have been held in Boston, New York City, San Diego, Las Vegas, San Francisco, West Hollywood, Calif., and Washington, D.C.

The time is ripe for the first issue of Rainbow Weddings, a gay wedding magazine scheduled for launch in December. The advertising revenues of GayWeddings.com have doubled since November, and registration has increased more than 50% in the last six months at RainbowWeddingNetwork.com.

Advertising to same-sex couples can be a double-edged sword for companies that have traditionally ignored the gay market, says Gillian Oakenfull, assistant professor of marketing at Miami University's Richard T. Farmer School of Business in Ohio. "If wedding planners suddenly start targeting gay couples, gay couples might feel They just want our money--or they might feel Look how far we've come," says Oakenfull, who has researched the effects of gay-oriented advertising on gay and straight audiences. Lesbians in ads can seem erotic to straight men, but romantic pictures of gay men tend to cause the biggest backlash. "By putting gay men in ads," Oakenfull says, "they're risking alienating straight audiences."

There are still major hurdles when it comes to marriage equality for gay men and lesbians. Massachusetts began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples on May 17, though a proposed constitutional amendment that would ban gay marriage could be on the 2006 ballot. Legal battles continue in San Francisco, New York State, and Oregon.

"I don't see the legal battles still to be fought as a serious impediment to creative entrepreneurs with good business judgment," says Steve Salbu, a professor at the University of Texas at Austin's McCombs School of Business. "While it's hard to predict when the legal hurdles to gay and lesbian marriage will fall, a growing climate of acceptance will encourage more and more couples to participate in ceremonies for religious, cultural, and personal reasons, even before widespread legal recognition."

Linda Gilvear and Joan Mayer, who have been together for 21 years, rushed to Portland, Ore., in March to join the thousands of other gay and lesbian couples who were able to obtain marriage licenses before a judge intervened and halted the process. The suburban-Philadelphia residents tell The Advocate that they flew to Oregon with their Unitarian minister, who presided over a simple ceremony. Once they returned, Gilvear and Mayer decided to throw a party to thank their Mends and to celebrate their nuptials.

The women don't want a traditional reception, so there will be no cake, "chicken dance," white dresses, or bouquet throwing. "We've hired an eight-piece band who are fantastic," Gilvear says. "We don't want people to be able to stop from dancing all night."

Henneman has written for the San Francisco Chronicle.